Some Lists

Posted on December 3, 2008 by xkcd

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages. But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

“ate a violin”
“driver-side bidet”
“unlike normal furries,”
“Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
“people are too civil on the internet”
“his penis shattered my world”
“more like LAME-arkian theory”
“my little horse must think it gay”
“it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
“Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

“full-body glissando”
“passenger-side bidet”
“underwater Linux”
“Nu-Polka”
“erotic colonoscopy”
“Spocktoberfest”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
“my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

And lastly, here’s a fun bash export I stumbled on:

export PS1='C:${PWD//\//\\\}>'

942 thoughts on “Some Lists”

dan on January 8, 2009 at 1:56 am said:

Scientoggly
Mike on January 8, 2009 at 3:37 pm said:

“my favorite google query“
aric on January 8, 2009 at 9:27 pm said:

Odd ones
“my girlfriend watches star trek” – 1
“Hitler ate my baby” – 2
“second to last place I looked” – only 6
“windows is the best” – 397,000!!! (mistake?)
Will on January 8, 2009 at 9:49 pm said:

“5-dimensional hyper mitten”
“6-dimensional hyper mitten”
“7-dimensional hyper mitten”
“13-dimensional hyper mitten”
“13-dimensional hyper raptor”
0 each. Apparently Jeph Jacques didn’t inspire any knitters
Jozibrewer on January 9, 2009 at 12:08 am said:

“I farted explosive sporks after eating KFC” (0)
“bush is a woman” (44)
“Taco Bell caused my wife to divorce me” (0)
“Taco Bell is my savior” (2)
“my wife has a penis” (5)
“toes are like tentacles” (1)
“wife kills husband over fast food” (0)
“who does he think he is reading my mind” (1)
bob on January 9, 2009 at 1:56 am said:

“vast right wing conspiracy” 431,000
“vast left wing conspiracy” 155,000
“vast Green Party conspiracy” 0
Coturnix on January 9, 2009 at 2:19 am said:

The second comment by Coturnix is by an impersonator.
Inspector Javert on January 9, 2009 at 9:57 am said:

“I think Quasimodo is hot”

No hits.
sophistiKate on January 9, 2009 at 12:14 pm said:

I think I love you.
Sean on January 9, 2009 at 12:38 pm said:

1,490 for “one (1) internets”
258 for “two (2) internets”
126 for “three (3) internets”
4 for “four (4) internets”
63 for “five (5) internets”
No results found for “six (6) internets”
2 for “seven (7) internets”
1 for “eight (8) internets”
No results found for “nine (9) internets”
10 for “ten (10) internets”
1 for “eleven (11) internets”
3 for “twelve (12) internets”
No results found for “thirteen (13) internets”
No results found for “fourteen (14) internets”
No results found for “fifteen (15) internets”
No results found for “sixteen (16) internets”
No results found for “seventeen (17) internets”
No results found for “eighteen (18) internets”
No results found for “nineteen (19) internets”
No results found for “twenty (20) internets”

And jumping to the chase,

No results found for “fifty (50) internets”
Jenna on January 9, 2009 at 12:52 pm said:

Okay, I admit it… I’m an ABBA fan and Mamma Mia was just fun. Interestingly enough, finding another related mia with no hits was not easy…

“mamma mia” – 26,400,00
“aunt mia” – 25,000
“sister mia” – 24,900
“papa mia” – 10,500
“brother mia” – 2,110
“uncle mia” – 382
“hamster mia” – 160
“zebra mia” – 143
“gerbil mia” – 108
“velociraptor mia” – 3
“anteater mia” – 1
“australopithecus mia” – 0
Tär on January 9, 2009 at 1:11 pm said:

“I’m just googling random stuff” – 0 results
Blindrakon on January 9, 2009 at 4:29 pm said:

There are no surface to air trebuchets either. Though apparently there are surface to air candy canes.
Konork on January 9, 2009 at 6:48 pm said:

“quasidimensional kitten” 0 results
“quasi dimensional kitten” 0 results
“quasi-dimensional kitten” 0 results
Konork on January 9, 2009 at 6:50 pm said:

Forgot something…
“quasidimensional raptor” 0 results
“quasi dimensional raptor” 0 results
“quasi-dimensional raptor” 0 results
Johann Kodama on January 10, 2009 at 4:43 am said:

“hair grew a painting”
Kevin on January 10, 2009 at 12:42 pm said:

Seems there are no traps shattering worlds, yet.

“her penis shattered my world” returned 0 results at time of posting. X)
eaglgenes101 on January 10, 2009 at 11:05 pm said:

firefox allied with internet explorer- 148000
he blew up a prime number- 319000
Obama’s greenness ate Mccain’s car- 213
tying his face to his underwater linux- 7480
six ten-dimensional raptors- 4
a googol ten-dimensional raptors- 0
seven thousand four hundred eighty-three two-dimensional raptors- 29
googolplex stars have googol faces- 443
lazyjay on January 11, 2009 at 5:27 am said:

“google is a number” – 35,200 (oi vei!)
“googol is a number” – 546
“google is not a number” – 6
“googol is not a number” – 1 (again!)

“googleplex is a number” – 115 (and again!)
“googolplex is a number” – 97
“googleplex is not a number” – 2
“googolplex is not a number” – 0

“google is 1 followed by 100 zeros” – 364 (and still, again!)
“googol is 1 followed by 100 zeros” – 161
“google is not 1 followed by 100 zeros” – 0
“googol is not 1 followed by 100 zeros” – 0

“googolplex is 1 followed by a googol zeros” – 89
“googleplex is 1 followed by a google zeros” – 4 (sheesh!)
“googleplex is 1 followed by a googol zeros” – 1 (huh?)
“googolplex is 1 followed by a google zeros” – 0

“googolplex is not 1 followed by a googol zeros” – 0
“googleplex is not 1 followed by a google zeros” – 0
“googleplex is not 1 followed by a googol zeros” – 0
“googolplex is not 1 followed by a google zeros” – 0

“google is a search engine” – 10,800
“google is not a search engine” – 1,550
“googol is not a search engine” – 2
“googol is a search engine” – 1

All zeros on the “googplex a search engine” queries. Similar results with adding the “plex” in the following queries.

“google is an evil empire” – 652
“google is not an evil empire” – 1
“googol is an evil empire” – 0
“googol is not an evil empire” – 0

Not much to say in the way of snarky commentary except:

Maybe we need to reevaluate our ideas about named large numbers, search engines and evil empires. Still, a glimmer of hope exists.
lazyjay on January 11, 2009 at 5:37 am said:

EEEK!

My angle brackets (and contents) were dropped! A certain non-sentence should have read (replace square with angle brackets)…

All zeros on the “goog[ol/le]plex [is/is not] a search engine” queries.
nylfn on January 11, 2009 at 7:19 am said:

“how to pretend depeche mode is your favorite band”
clubikimakuri on January 11, 2009 at 7:49 am said:

“Why do I cry after sex” – 1,120

“Why do I cry during sex” – 5

“Why do I cry before sex” – 1 (!)
Brian on January 11, 2009 at 2:13 pm said:

“The tomato puff says” – 0
“Since the dawn of wallpaper” – 0
“Attack of the mushroom gods” – 0
“Too much sex with my girlfriend” – 1 (!)
“Mutant cyborg toenails” – 0
“Renaissance pornography” – 412
bjdrury on January 11, 2009 at 9:21 pm said:

“Mother in law” – 8,200,000
“Father in law” – 4,490,000
“Hamster in law” – 275
“Dolphin in law” – 4
“Panda in law” – 2
“Aye aye in law” – 2
“Velociraptor in law” – 0
Sam Knight on January 12, 2009 at 8:08 am said:

“I am not an ichthyosaur”
“Stop eating the printer cartridges”
“Who drank my bile?”
“Velociraptor hernia”
“Bile in the semen”
“Shot in the gallbladder”

Not so hard to find =P
cecilia on January 12, 2009 at 4:47 pm said:

“latin guys are faithful” – 0 results
“geeks are faithful” – 1 result
“your mother is faithful” – 0 results
“velociraptors are faithful” – 0 results
“i had sex with my grandparents” – 1 result
Tdebauw on January 12, 2009 at 4:53 pm said:

“decided to keep her as a gremlin” – 0
“a dangerous day for clowns” – 0
“snuff films, but not in an evil way” – 0
“punched him in his special area” – 0 (?)

“McCain is a muslim” – 33600
“McCain is a toaster” – 5
“McCain is a transformer” – 4
“McCain is a ninja” – 1
“McCain is a manatee” – 1
“McCain is a bounty hunter” – 0

“that’s no moon, that’s a space station” – 1440
“that’s no moon, that’s your mom” – 3
“that’s no moon, that’s a space station, mom” – 0

“hitler fan fiction” – 5
“stalin fan fiction” – 0
“mussolini fan fiction” – 0
SeniorJuevos on January 12, 2009 at 5:58 pm said:

Shit to do on Kodiak – 0

I’m screwed, I’m going to be there for 2 and a half months [sad face]
SeniorJuevos on January 12, 2009 at 5:59 pm said:

Blargh, it was supposed to read “Shit to do in* Kodiak”
Phantom on January 12, 2009 at 9:27 pm said:

“Obama is Cthulhu” – 4
Phaedrus2401 on January 12, 2009 at 11:26 pm said:

“I have no fish mouths” – 0
“Steve Jobs uses Vista” – 8 (!)
“Steve Ballmer uses Vista” – 1 (!)
“There is no spoon in the drive” – 0
“I dual boot BSD” – 1
“Your mom dual boots BSD” – 0

“I don’t have the money on me” – 3100
“I do have the money on me” – 0

“That’s right, dear: latex” – 0
Simon Dyda on January 13, 2009 at 3:07 pm said:

“hermaphrodites, they’re all the same” – 0
Donkey Fooker on January 14, 2009 at 2:15 am said:

I AM A CUNT
I AM A CUNT
I AM A CUNT
I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

I AM A CUNT

IT’S SO TRUE
Bagnew on January 14, 2009 at 2:41 am said:

“dear lord, the raptors have ganged up with aardvarks to create some sort of mutant velociraardvark!” (0)

“Let’s go drinking with the land-sea lions” (0)

“I wonder what would happen if you melted a printer and impregnated the pile of liquid with gummi bears” (0)

“Gummi Bear Tree House” (1)

“I have a Ph. D in horribleness” (943!)

“or the study of the effects of fire on gasoline” (0, though it would be good for a science fair…)
Mr. 8 on January 14, 2009 at 4:58 am said:

Takes 8 seconds for me to scroll down to the bottom of this page. FF3.0.3, holding the spacebar.
Simon Dyda on January 14, 2009 at 8:31 am said:

“albino shemale porn” – 1
“I drank my diarrhea” – 0
“fuck you and your mechanical cock” – 0

And a bit of graffiti I saw on a condom machine in the William Tell pub, Dublin, in the early 1990s:

“insert fetus for refund” – 1
Noah on January 14, 2009 at 2:33 pm said:

“Would a puppy die if they eat a number 2 pencil?” – 2 results
Mylo on January 15, 2009 at 12:18 am said:

“Fistful of Epic” – 10
“Fistful of Badass” – 0
“Fistful of Bad ass” – 0
“Fistful of velociraptor” – 0
svan on January 15, 2009 at 2:09 am said:

“I screamed” 1,070,000
“the table screamed” 310
“the fan screamed” 207
“the idea screamed” 126
“the elbow screamed” 2
“the quiche screamed” 0

“go away right now” 9910
“go away before I kill you” 245
“go away before it explodes” 5
“go away before I fall asleep” 2
“go away before he bites you” 0

“stick to the plan, and there won’t be any trouble” 0
“i couldn’t believe the pillows matched the couch” 0
“i ate half a quiche today” 0

“he broke the violin” 10
“i broke the violin” 6
“we broke the violin” 1
“she broke the violin” 0
Logolin on January 15, 2009 at 7:12 am said:

“Remove the crab’s face” – 1
“remove the dog’s face” – 1
“remove the man’s face” – 1
“remove the manatee’s face” – 0

“dinner skull” – 234
“skull bake” – 179
“skull recipe” – 864
“roast skull” – 34
“velociraptor skull” – 2670
“summer glau recipe” – 0
Dan on January 15, 2009 at 11:06 pm said:

“fast white pants” – 1 result

“slow black pants” – 1 result
shatterspike1 on January 16, 2009 at 12:08 am said:

“new zealand is gay” -9,430,000

It’s official, New Zealand is really gay.
Koko on January 16, 2009 at 3:49 am said:

“Obamaretto” – 2,600,000 [must try]
“president James K. Poke” – 4 [!]
“I found her breasts unattractive” – 1
“kicked me until I peed” – 0
“I wish the Daleks would come to earth” – 0
“a tricycle for the young velociraptor” – 0
Cannonball Jones on January 16, 2009 at 5:24 am said:

““new zealand is gay” -9,430,000

It’s official, New Zealand is really gay.”

Hehe, I live with a Kiwi lass, she’s going to love that
g3kogur1 on January 16, 2009 at 5:38 pm said:

can i get in on this?

“he ate half a mermaid”
took less time than I thought. are quotations cheating?
Andrej on January 16, 2009 at 5:44 pm said:

“It’s not a bug, it’s your mom” – 0
nameless on January 16, 2009 at 8:14 pm said:

“velociraptors rock” 94
“velociraptors suck” 58

whats wrong with these people
also

“how i mine 4 fish” 3450
“how can i get a fish” 10

oh noes, teh intrawebs are teh fil
(i am ashamed i posted that)

captcha: shoes flegenheimer
james on January 17, 2009 at 12:03 am said:

“orangutan journalist” 0
“handsome weevil” 77
“pleasant-smelling foot” 6
“pleasant poo” 224
“fast turtle” 10,500
“expedient turtle” 5
“the internet is a strange place” 2,490
“Good mime skills” 53
“Good miming skills” 45
“Good mime” 4,330
“gift steno pad” 0
“adhesive tablature” 5
“thoughtful stone” 238
“attack rabbit” 11,700
“monty python is a pacifist” 0
“monty python is a scientologist” 0
“the media saved my life” 5
“i forgot why I’m using my computer” 0
“i don’t got the herp” 2
“protection against velociraptors on the chimney” 0
“was blindland” 0
“this old protractor doesn’t fit like it used to” 0
“this protractor doesn’t fit like it used to” 0
“this protractor doesn’t fit anymore” 0
“this protractor doesn’t fit” 0
“protractors don’t fit” 0
“peter griffin is my least favorite cartoon” 0
“peter griffin is my favorite cartoon” 1
“my Delorean runs on bacon grease” 0
“my Delorean runs on bacon apple cider” 0
“my Delorean runs from raptors” 0
“a segway on fire” 3
“use my CLASSROOM?!?!” 1530
“use my WHAT?!?!” 446
“pig fetus is good bacon” 0 (don’t ask)
“the raptor was not a threat” 0
“my therapist is in an asylum” 0 (a good thing i guess)
Pingback: ????? ????? » Blog Archive » ??? ?????
Mr. S on January 17, 2009 at 12:48 pm said:

“I beat blue sphere” – 0 results

Anyone know otherwise?

xkcd

The blag of the webcomic

Some Lists

942 thoughts on “Some Lists”

Leave a Reply Cancel reply