Some Lists

Posted on December 3, 2008 by xkcd

After a hectic few months, I finally have some projects that are in the early stages. But since nothing is worth posting about yet, here instead is a list of phrases that (at the time of this posting) turn up no hits on Google:

“ate a violin”
“driver-side bidet”
“unlike normal furries,”
“Sarah, plain and tall and a cyborg”
“people are too civil on the internet”
“his penis shattered my world”
“more like LAME-arkian theory”
“my little horse must think it gay”
“it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
“Aww, a baby hooker!”

Here are some phrases that I had hoped were original when I typed them in but was disappointed:

“full-body glissando”
“passenger-side bidet”
“underwater Linux”
“Nu-Polka”
“erotic colonoscopy”
“Spocktoberfest”
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a frack.”
“my bologna has a first name, it’s A-D-O-L-F”

And lastly, here’s a fun bash export I stumbled on:

export PS1='C:${PWD//\//\\\}>'

942 thoughts on “Some Lists”

Bielawski on January 27, 2009 at 3:37 pm said:

A little gem:
“I am my mother’s first grade teacher”
all the way to
“I am my mother’s twelfth grade teacher”
return 0 results.
matevzb on January 27, 2009 at 6:53 pm said:

“i ate my hamster” – 1150
“he ate my hamster” – 447
“she ate my hamster” – 41
“you ate my hamster” – 166
“they ate my hamster” – 67
“we ate my hamster” – 0
“google ate my hamster” – 50
“obama ate my hamster” – 7
“xkcd ate my hamster” – 0
“hamster ate my hamster” – 3 (Cricetus Cannibalis?)
“velociraptor ate my hamster” – 0
Pingback: ?????????? ? Google « Plamenstoev’s Blog
geekthras on January 27, 2009 at 10:07 pm said:

of the form “thirty-nine results” etc:
54 got 53
77 got 1140 for some reason
85 got 87
103 got none! “one hundred three”
nothing for 104-107, but 108 gets one result, as to 109 110 111
112 gets none

captcha:
“benefit furtel” I think
looks more like benetit
… I’m refreshing this one
“greatest in” – 3,230,000
Jeff on January 27, 2009 at 10:59 pm said:

“windows vista is bad for your health” – 1 hit! totally random comment about vista.
FooFan7222 on January 27, 2009 at 11:29 pm said:

“The damaged perfection” – 0 results
“Luke, I am a velociraptor” – 0 results
“The fourth wheel on a tricycle” – 11 results
“The fifth wheel on a tricycle” – 2 results
“The sixth wheel on a tricycle” – 5 results
“The seventh wheel on a tricycle” – 0 results
“The eighth……..twentieth wheel on a tricycle” – 0 results
“Surely You’re Joking, xkcd!” – 0 results
“Some lists made by xkcd” – 0 results
hurley_108 on January 28, 2009 at 5:27 pm said:

“ben stein is a douchebag” : 354 hits
“ben stein isn’t a douchebag” : 0 hits
The Force on January 28, 2009 at 9:59 pm said:

_____ is a fracking cylon

“Mccain” 1
“Obama” 0
“Palin” 0
“Biden” 0

Mccain is a cylon?!?!? Well, if the internet says it…
Pazuzu on January 29, 2009 at 9:37 am said:

“this is too weird to show on the internet” 0
“this is too weird for the internet” 0
“everything on the internet is porn” 83 (I knew it!)
“this is too weird to make porn of” 0
“i tell people i’m not a virgin” 1 (although the result is actually the opposite)
“master plan for world domination” 9330 (boy, the competition mush be harsh!)
“master plan for world peace” 16 (oh, humanity)
“master plan for for making her mine” 0
Pingback: Wayne
maxbarkly on February 2, 2009 at 12:55 am said:

“irreverent man” 2,590
“irreverent boy” 479
“irreverent honkey” 2
“irreverent sucka” 0
M on February 2, 2009 at 6:41 pm said:

Crazy laugh @ nu-polka.
connie cannibal on February 3, 2009 at 12:55 am said:

“I loathe things that are deep fried” – 0 results

surprise surprise.
Squeegy on February 3, 2009 at 1:59 am said:

Unlike normal furries, these featheries, are well-known for falling into fast-paced, extremely sexual and drug-filled lifestyles and are often infatuated

aha!
Therese on February 3, 2009 at 9:12 am said:

No results found for “recalcitrant burrito vendors”.

But there are so many of them! Vending away.
Savannah on February 3, 2009 at 10:27 pm said:

“his fault” – 2,620,000
“her fault” – 875,000
Logan on February 3, 2009 at 11:26 pm said:

“cat litter fondue” – 0
“elvis presley’s upper crust” – 0
“mr. lincoln’s erotica” – 0
Showbiz on February 4, 2009 at 1:25 am said:

“Liar Liar didn’t give me a heart attack” – 0
“Tom Cruise not being a douche” – 0
“Fat people without a thyroid condition” – 0

This is fun.
Doug on February 4, 2009 at 10:57 am said:

There are a couple I’ve coined without realizing it:

Rounds up to true
Rounds down to false
Six-sigma strange
JohnDoe on February 5, 2009 at 9:15 pm said:

“put your hands up for energy” – 0

I just dream of it last night.
Renchub on February 5, 2009 at 9:31 pm said:

“pro Sonny Bono” 184 hits
“pro bonobo” 145 hits
“Sonny Bonobo” 361000
“pro Sonny Bonobo” 0 hits
“Sonny Bono hits” 608 hits, but the next words in the third link is “a tree.”
stabbner on February 6, 2009 at 5:20 am said:

“squishy family jewels” and “springy family jewels” still yields zero results as of this date…
durt on February 10, 2009 at 9:25 am said:

No results found for “drunken web searching”. Just thought ya’ll might want to know.
Scott on February 13, 2009 at 12:21 am said:

“never call a raptor fat” – 0
“cthulhu on a stick” – 7
“this query has zero returns” – 0
“i am here to fix your appliances” – 1
“road rage polka” – 195
“pikachu salami” – 3
“internet meme pie” – 31
“i hate my life” – 673 000
“i love my life” – 858 000

(I kinda want to try a cthulhu on a stick)

Also,
http://forums.nexuswar.com/viewtopic.php?t=17274&view=previous&sid=7297e3bae723d8985e7ccbb3717a9e73
Jakooboo on February 17, 2009 at 2:49 pm said:

Denizens of Rum island: 0
Birth of the Devil Goat: 654
Eating Raw pancreas: 8
needsnaming on February 17, 2009 at 6:00 pm said:

techthulhu – 0 results.
“Thor’s Whores” – 222 results.
“dracula is lactose intolerant” – 2 results.
“What if hitler invented hello kitty?” – 0 results.
“Stalin is a sexy beast” – 1 result…
“Jesus vs. the Kool Aid Man” = 0 results.
“My life would be complete if I had porn of Mr. Rogers” – results.

I think I’m done for the day.
Rowan on February 18, 2009 at 12:38 pm said:

“make out with a grandma” – 1 result
“make out with a grandpa” – 2 results
“make out with a mother” – 0 results

Grandpas win again…

“Google couldn’t even find my underpants” – 0 results
“It turns out you shot my dog” – 0 results
Rowan on February 18, 2009 at 1:41 pm said:

“reflection nebulosity, my ass”
Iguana on February 20, 2009 at 10:41 am said:

“plasma cutter as anti-terminator weapon” – 0 results
Jeremy on February 20, 2009 at 2:02 pm said:

The wonderful thing is that every 0 result now has 1 result. It’s like we’re eradicating the 0 links!
Evan on February 23, 2009 at 1:42 am said:

“i’m a hermaphrodite who had a sex change” – 0 results

A guy I knew in high school told us he wanted to go on Jerry Springer under that theme…
Simon on February 25, 2009 at 3:46 pm said:

“intercourse with a pineapple” – 3 hits
“No more punching monkeys” – 2 hits

No results found for “Ventriloquists gone wild”
bob on February 28, 2009 at 8:13 pm said:

omg im in tears this is so funny
“french millitary victories” hahaha
unknownwarrior33 on March 3, 2009 at 6:20 pm said:

“well-written and intelligent YouTube comment” – no results
marikun on March 4, 2009 at 7:14 pm said:

Ooh I found one!
“woman ate by artichoke” – no results
Boffer4life on March 5, 2009 at 10:57 pm said:

well now that you’ve posted this, it pops up on google XD
Char Lefave on March 11, 2009 at 6:31 pm said:

In regard to the “bologna” one, it’s because the first two results that pop up are from your website. *suspicious look*
Sleep Deprivation Ninja on March 12, 2009 at 2:16 am said:

“ninja ate my hamster” – 0

We don’t do that kind of thing.
George on March 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm said:

“nice weather for loving” got 0 results last i checked
Zelaron on March 19, 2009 at 10:25 am said:

Google orbital sub-nuclear fusion mass celestial objects of roundness defined by 3<pi<4:

“Google Mercury” – 3,060
“Google Venus” – 1,460
“Google Earth” – 91,200,000
“Google Mars” – 424,000
“Google Jupiter” – 1,640
“Google Saturn” – 3,000
“Google Uranus” – 289
“Google Neptune” – 231
“Google Pluto” – 709
“Google Moon” – 164,000
“Google Phobos” – 221
“Google Deimos” – 61
“Google Io” – 41,100 (Vulcanize society!)
“Google Europa” – 10,500
“Google Calisto” – 360
“Google Ganymede” – 160
“Google Amalthea” – 6
“Google Himalia” – 1
“Google Elara”- 8
“Google-fuck Jupiter” – 0
“Google Polydeuces” – 2 (…)
“Google OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb” – 1 (1 goto 1)
“Google PSR B1257+12 C” – 0 (A winrar!)

—

“Jupiter is fit for colonization” – 0
“Cities built on orbital” – 0
“Josef Fritzl is not that bad” – 0
“I live and breathe this BS” – 0
“wtf are torus seeds” – 0
“One yoctosecond of joy” – 0
Zelaron on March 19, 2009 at 1:10 pm said:

Hmm, better make that pi = 3 < z < 4.
Late to the Party on March 20, 2009 at 1:36 am said:

“Roch Voisine jello mould” 0 results

“Raptorrolled” 1 result

“linen-clad raptor” 0 results

“blood clot sandwich” seriously, 8 results

“reslut” – 158,000 results, of which my favourite is possibly “HCG Test reslut: I’m pregnant!!”
Late to the Party on March 20, 2009 at 1:46 am said:

“Mom I’d Like to Google” 0 results
Jerry Maguire on March 20, 2009 at 10:01 am said:

“You had me at hello” – 156,000
“You had me at konichiwa” – 2,240
“You had me at bonjour” – 532
“You had me at hola” – 478
“You had me at ciao” – 152
“You had me at ni hao” – 126
“You had me at namaste” – 104
“You had me at guten tag” – 10
“You had me at g’day” – 8
“You had me at salaam” – 7
“You had me at o hai” – 6
“You had me at zdravstvuite” – 1
“You had me at o-si-yo” – 0

and:

“You had me at halo” – 73,700
“You had me at goodbye” – 7,270
“You had me at good morning” – 242
“You had me at dicks fuck assholes” – 224
“You had me at let’s fuck” – 20
“You had me at your mom” – 2
“You had me at raptors” – 1 (!!)
“You had me at velociraptors” – 0
Non-weird physicist on March 20, 2009 at 7:36 pm said:

“physicists who aren’t weird”
Chris on March 23, 2009 at 10:02 am said:

“velociraptor attack prevention equipment”
Toady on March 24, 2009 at 11:27 am said:

No hits… until you put the phrases in this page.
LOL ^ (n) on March 25, 2009 at 8:39 am said:

Lol^1: 398000000
Lol^2: 2480000
Lol^3: 1420000
Lol^4: 720000
Lol^5 318000
Lol^6 187000
Lol^7 127000
Lol^8 83900
Lol^9 48200
Lol^10 33200
Lol^11 24300
Lol^12 22400
Lol^13 12200
Lol^14 12600
Lol^15 8910
Lol^16 6770
Lol^17 4290
Lol^18 3200
Lol^19 2480
Lol^20 1910
Lol^21 2100
Lol^22 1680
Lol^23 1650
Lol^24 1450
Lol^25 883
Lol^26 778
Lol^27 794
Lol^28 548
Lol^29 487
Lol^30 525
Lol^31 349
Lol^32 563
Lol^33 258
Lol^34 310
Lol^35 275
Lol^36 400
Lol^37 287
Lol^38 214
Lol^39 166
Lol^40 180
Lol^41 605
Lol^42 112
Lol^43 560
Lol^44 810
Lol^45 965
Lol^46 699
Lol^47 108
Lol^48 121
Lol^49 1650
Lol^50 9
Lol^51 5
Lol^52 12
Lol^53 7
Lol^54 7
Lol^55 7
Lol^56 9
Lol^57 8
Lol^58 6
Lol^59 10
Lol^60 6
Lol^61 10
Lol^62 7
Lol^63 7
Lol^64 0
Adam on March 25, 2009 at 8:01 pm said:

“list of successful geckos”
“list of successful government initiatives”
“list of successful webcomics”

All zero.
Rowland Jones on March 26, 2009 at 10:04 am said:

this may seem a somewhat self obsessed discovery, however….

I typed my name into google in two separate browsers on my mac. In one I came 1,2 and 3 on the first page whilst on the other I was 4 5 and 7

Why were the searches not the same….or am I thinking too simplistically.

Rowland

xkcd

The blag of the webcomic

Some Lists

942 thoughts on “Some Lists”

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